Celebration : 8 Years Already

February 18th 2012...

Nothing so special about this, actually. Sebenarnya hari ini nggak bisa disebut sebagai perayaan, tepatnya mungkin peringatan.

Delapan tahun lalu, pada tanggal yang sama, tanggal 18 Februai 2004 adalah hari yang paling berat yang pernah gue alami. Paling sedih. Paling hampa. Paling berbeda. Paling menakutkan. Paling khawatir. Tapi, di sisi lain paling lega.

Iya. Tanggal 18 Feruari 2004 adalah hari meninggalnya my beloved Mommy, Almh. Ibu Nurwargi. Rasanya ingin pulang dan mengunjungi makam Mama seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya. Tapi, yah mungkin hanya bisa kirim do'a buat Mama. Jelas sedih kan kalo kehilangan seorang seberharga Ibu sendiri, feel like your world would end too, but it doesn't, so you have to endure it well :)
Gue merasa lega karena Mama udah nggak perlu sakit-sakit lagi seperti sebelumnya. Mama udah bebas dari sakit yang dia alami selama setahun lebih. Mama kembali ke tangan yang baik dalam keadaan yang baik, itulah yang selalu gue percayai.


Dulu, di hari yang sama, I often cried, but now, managed to get rid over it. Cause, the more I cry, the more my Mom suffer. Usia sudah mendewasakan gue dalam hal-hal seperti ini.

Gue udah punya tanggung jawab, dua orang adik gue, juga dua adik angkat gue, dan semua orang yang ada di rumah lay the responsibility on me, so I choose to stand as strong as possible. Yeah, it's part of my dream too.

A massage to her. Akan gue tulis dalam Bahasa Inggris, karena lebih nyaman that way :)

Dear Mommy,
Hi Ma, how are you doing? Hope everything is good and going so well.
I know Ma, you've find happiness at the place where you are now.
Ma, I'm grown up Ma. I am now a student of a difficult Major in a faraway univ. I am doing fine. I lead a good life here, Ma. It's tiring but so fun. and I have tons of good friend. I love everyone of them, and I'm sure enough they love me too. They're such a good friend. The could heal my pain and make me smile all day.
Ma, our little bro is going to ace his final exam this year, if I could help him through his difficulties, I would do anything possible, but yeah, we're ten thousand miles apart. I pray that he could handle everything well. He has your passion right?

Ma, I miss you so much, so much that I hope I could meet you in my dream. But, we never catch up there, Ma. I want to tell so many story to Ma,and share about my life obstacle and happiness. Ma... it's been a while since I last time hugged and kissed you, it feels like ages :'(

Ma, I am now loosing some weight, hehe
As you wish, I got a lot smaller than hi-school. Haha. Of course I hoping that will get me some good issues, hehe. I mean, the 'boyfriend' that others girl always talk about. The topic that I never join in. But, it is not base on appearance, right? My personality isn't that good too. I'm awkward. Hehe. but I'm fine to be single, Ma. I don't really need that kind of thing. My life is wonderful, and it is the part of life that you teach me how to face.

Ma, everyone called their mother, shared story, and all. I'm sad that I couldn't. But, Ibu does it for me, Ma. Ibu always handle enything for me. She's doing great job. Me and lil-Bro never feel anything bad about her, she treat us so well. Although, she's not the same with you Ma, she can fill the lost-mother-figure in my life.

Ma, Dad is fine, he's as health as a teenager, till he could tease me about anything. Dad taking a good care about us. Daddy is so busy with work right now, he never called for this past four days at least. Maybe Daddy thought I'm busy too, that's why he never called. Daddy loosing some weight too, Ibu ask Dad to do some healthy diet program, you know that Dad loves to eat sweet thing and love coffee so much, he need to reduce that.

Ma, maybe that's all I could say for now. Hope Mama always doing fine and good there. Rest in peace forever, Ma. I love you. I miss you. Miss you much :')

Your daughter,

Emmy



That's it guys, I hope I could send it to my Mom. Telling her my current state, hug her, and all... but yeah, you know, and I do know I couldn't.

Have a good day Minna-san. It's Saturday anyway. feels like jogging and hangin out. But I'm waiting for friends to come right now. She's asking me to borrow a blazer. Yep yep. Quite busy today though. Homework and all...
Wish me fighting and good luck for today =D

Will back later with some fanfiction maybe.

See ya folks :)