SongFic_Loveless_Oneshot (based on Yamashita Tomohisa-Loveless)
Title : Loveless
Author : @emmyaoi
Pairing : None
Language : English
Rating : PG 13
Word count: 1.641
Type : Straight, Oneshot
Genre : Drama, Romance
Disclaimer : Yamashita Tomohisa is still that old Johnny Kitagawa’s. Both song and video belongs to Yamapi and Johnny’s Entertainment’s copyright. The link to the PV download credit to candyp-keita.livejournal.com (So, what about me? I only own my plot >.<)
Summary : Me don’t even know if it’s a fiction or not, but it’s just a slight reflection of my condition. So, I have no name writing on this fic. Just a scenes, enjoy!!! Ah, the italic fonts are the song's lyrics. With love~ emmy
Download link: [PV] Yamapi - Loveless
==================================================================
Somehow I already understand it
The reason why you looked down
It is because you can’t talk about “breaking up”
I’m holding my breaths when I saw him walked downstairs. I was waiting for him about an hour and thirty, but I had no problem if it comes to him. He had a favor to asked, that’s what he told me on the phone last night. I’m too busy with my reports and so did him. So, we have no good time to catch up, even in our break. I know he must be the one who’s seeking for me, so I could just waiting for a date invitation or stuff. But never. He never did so.
I already made up my mind, there’s a problem in our relationship. It wasn’t about time to meet, not the matter of the lack date, or not about the limited ‘good night’ text. I don’t even know if he’s aware about my loneliness. Maybe because he’s a men, that’s why he’s so insensitive about it.
He was out of it, that’s what I concluded.
Finally he reached here. Placing his so gorgeous smile and faced me. I’m looking up to watch his face, worried whether I would find his face getting dark or so.
“ Have you been well?” That’s his first sentence.
“ Never been this good,” I answered lightly. “ How about you then?”
He’s smiling, his eyes arching, and I’m blushed. That’s the greatest gift I’ve ever accepted. Him, and his angelic smile.
“ Busy with the crapping papers and you-know-what, report,” he said.
Nodding my head, then I asked him to have a seat.
“ No need to stay that long, you need to take your time to finish your report, right?”
I nodded, again. We stayed like that for several minutes. I was holding my books and only thinking randomly, worriedly, and sadly. He did so. Looking down over the ground, while tapping his fingers on his side.
I knew where’s his thought driving him. I knew that he would told me the matter, and then the conclusion. And for heaven sake, that’s an only confession that I had never want to heard to.
He swallowed and then started, “ weren’t go that well lately, were we?”
That was his first question. A question that force me to answer by ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
“ I think so,” that’s what I chose, answered honestly.
Our shadow which is on the road
Becoming much closer, seems overlapping
But our memories keeps fading away now
You must have come across a different love
I can’t find a word to keep you beside me
“ You never know how much I am treasuring you,” he said, then added, “ you mean so much for me, but… I can’t keep this up with you, it’ll only hurts you sooner or later.”
I felt my head like spinning, a heat start to burning over my face and eyes. I started to dropping the tears. I understand that he wanted to comforting me by arranging his words, but he failed. It wasn’t comforting at all, it was only hurting.
“ Baby…” he called.
I nearly shouted ‘how dare you calling me that way?’, but I hold it back, and burst into tears instead.
“ Baby, look,” he called again. Now, both of his warm hands cupping my face, lifted it up to seeing through what exactly was writing on my face. “ You know I love you, and I do want you to live with, but… it wasn’t going that way anymore.”
That broke my heart in pieces. I grip my skirts and let my tears flooded.
“ I know, I’m the one who know you thoroughly,” I said, face still in his hands.
He closed his eyes for the longest time before placing a warm kiss on my forehead.
“ I can’t bear to see your tears,” he said.
“ So, why you keep pushing me to let you go?” I mumbled between my sobs.
He slightly pulling me to his arms. I could only let he did it to me, cause, I would never know, when and where I could find the same warmth that circling me that time. If it wasn’t him, I would never let anyone else to touched me. And nonetheless, maybe this is the last time I could felt his love flowed all over me.
Saying goodbye
That it’s the end
Even if it’s a lie
Our hands become colder since we let go
I’m sorry, please don’t cry
Because I might hug you again
The memory that piled up
Before it turns to pain,
Let us give our last smile and
Say goodbye
My tears still dripped, wetting my blouse. He was still there, stood in front of me, and hands in hands. I knew he felt the same, I knew it hurt him too. But, there’s no love in it, just a slight sorry.
“ Don’t be too kind to me if you want to end us up,” I said, tugging my hand from his. Suddenly I felt my hands freezing, felt like wanted to be in his hands once again.
And he knew. He grabbed my hands one more time and tried to kissed it. I tossed his hands away before it could reach his thin lips.
“ Stop acting this way, please…”
I’m going to be fine by my self
The first time I lied
Hoping that it will stop your tears
It is really important
I don’t want to say it actually
Even though it doesn’t really matter
I hope that you’ll find your happiness the most
Even though I pretend to be strong
I’d like to tell you ‘thank you very much’
It stopped then, my tears stopped flowing.
I nodded my head and get my head straight after the longest silent between me and him, my very first love. I lifted up my head and turned to him, who was now sitting beside me.
He looked to me, his eyes seem so apologetic. I can handle it, that’s what I told my self. I can bear to live without him. I can, I have to.
“ If you find that she’s better, then you can go for her, I will let you forever,” I said.
“ I’m not comparing you to her,” he tried to correct me.
“ No, I know, no one could love you just like the way I do,” I’m saying it with confident, cause that was the only think I could sure of. “ I’m just saying, I’m fine about it, I really do fine.”
A smile curved on his beautiful lips. I read his facial expression, and so sure, If it wasn’t a good bye, he would force me for a few longing kisses. But it was an end for me and him.
Even if we have to say goodbye
Even if we have regrets
It is the proof that we were once together
It seems because of you
He once said that he would give me the thing I wanted the most, and it was there. A scrap book with his hand-writing. I opened it and found him telling the story about our past, from our sweetest first date, our summer trip, and our photograph while using our couple-yukata in the tanabata festival. Various pictures was pinned here and there, and his scribbles make it only more and more beautiful. My tears started to filling the corner of my eyes. Before I could do that for my self, he wiped my tears away. Once again his hands touched my face, and it burned my face.
“ Will I be able to end this if you keep making me drown into you?” I asked dazedly.
“ Sorry to hurt you so much this far,” he looked down. “ I’m still lacking in everything, and I’m suck.”
I blinked and lifted my head up. One thing, I’m still in love with him, and I might hugged him again.
“ If you’re sure to end it, I could handle it with all my might, even I’m not so sure I can, I have to.”
He smiled with a heavy heart and say, “ you can, if we have to end it, we have to done it beautifully, just like the way we started it one year ago.”
I’ll forget about it
Let’s put it off our chest
The reason which we carved together
Let’s move to the new future
Hurriedly, behind your back
With the last smile, I’ll say good bye
He saw me home that night. He said that he was sorry about taking too much of my studying time. I explained to him that it didn’t matter.
He suddenly took off his scarf and hand it to me.
“ Take it.”
I cleared my throat, “ what for?”
“ Don’t know, I have been always wanted to do it,” he answered.
I smiled to him at the door end.
“ Take a very good care of your self, cause if you not I will definitely kill you,” I muttered.
It made him laughed, “ I will.”
After so many well-mannered bows, finally we have to said it.
“ Goodbye…” I started.
Frustrated, he scratched on his head and replied, “ goodbye…”
Then I entered my house. I watch him left secretly from the windows. And with no one knows, I said once again.
“ Goodbye, so long…”
Secretly, I’m still hoping for him back to my embrace or back to embrace me.
======================================================
I’m dizzy and this is just come out. I don’t even know why I have to write it and post it, but I’d love to share to everyone anything that I wrote. So, hopefully everyone will like it, or at leas, read it
No comments:
Post a Comment